Rock and Roll Squid
by Erin T. Aardvark
Summary: Squiddly Diddly leaves Bubbleland to join a rock group


Rock and Roll Squid

It was a quiet day at Bubbleland. Chief Winchley was sitting in his office, doing some paperwork, enjoying the peace.

"Now for a little music," he said, turning on his radio. He expected to hear classical music. Instead, loud, surf music came blaring into the window. Chief Winchley nearly hit the roof!

"What in the world . . . . ." he started to say, but he had a pretty good idea where the music was coming from.

"SQUIDDLY!" he shouted.

Chief Winchley walked out of his office, and stormed over to Squiddly Diddly's tank. Squiddly was leaning back in his tank, listening to a record on his water-proof record player.

"Squiddly, what is that racket?!" Chief Winchley shouted.

"Oh, hiya, Chief," Squiddly said. "It's the new record from the Sand Dunes. Aren't they great?"

"Well, turn it down! I can't think with all that racket!"

"Oh, sure, Chief!"

Squiddly turned the volume down on his record player. The Chief didn't dig rock and roll. He just wasn't that type of guy. At any rate, Squiddly leaned back in his tank, and relaxed.

"Oh boy," he said. "Being a rock and roll singer sounds like the greatest job in the world! I'm gonna go to the Sand Dunes' concert tonight and ask them how to become a rock star!"

That evening, Squiddly snuck out of Bubbleland without Chief Winchley noticing. He went to the local auditorium where a long line of girls were waiting to get inside, screaming their heads off.

"Boy, take a look at that line!" Squiddly shouted. "I'll never get in through the front! I'd better try the back door!"

Squiddly ran around the building and knocked on the back door. A security guard opened the door and stared at the squid.

"Well," he said, "Whattaya want?!"

"I'm here to see the Sand Dunes," Squiddly said. "I'm their biggest fan!"

"Are ya on da list?"

"What list?"

The security guard then slammed the door in Squiddly's face.

"If ya ain't on da list," he said. "Ya don't see da band!"

"Of all the nerve!" Squiddly shouted. "Well, there's more than one way to get inside!"

Squiddly started climbing up the side of the building, towards the open window. He climbed inside, and slid down the wall, laughing.

"You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to outsmart Squiddly Diddly!" he laughed.

"I get up around quarter ta five," the security guard said.

"Whoops."

Next thing Squiddly knew, he was being tossed out of the auditorium and into an alley crashing into a pile of trash cans. CRASH!

"That's the last time I'm gonna donate to the Body Builders of America Association!" he shouted. "But I'm not licked yet! All I need is a clever disguise!"

Later, Squiddly approached the back door again, this time disguised as a potted plant. He knocked on the door.

"Yeh?" the guard asked. Then he looked down. "Huh. A potted plant. Must be from a fan. Well, at least I know it's not from that pesky octopus!"

"Hey!" Squiddly shouted. "I resemble that remark! That, sir, is an insult! I'll have you know that I am a squid!"

With that, Squiddly tweaked the guard's nose, and ran off. The guard was positively steamed.

"Come back here, you pest!" he shouted. "Somebody stop dat squid!"

"Uh oh," Squiddly said. "I'd better make tracks!"

Squiddly ran down a hallway, followed by three hulking brutes. The terrified squid ran through a door, and slammed it shut.

"They'll never find me in here!" he shouted. "I think I'll stay in here until the heat's off!"

Squiddly turned around and spotted two members of the Sand Dunes: lead singer Drake Millard and lead guitarist Duke Lange. They looked so deep in thought, they didn't even notice Squiddly!

"We may just have to cancel our show tonight," Drake said.

"If we do that, the fans will want to lynch us," Duke said. "We can't cancel."

"Yeah, and we can't hire a new back-up band this late!"

"So what are we gonna do?!"

"I don't know, but we'd better do something fast."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and find a one man band."

"Oh boy, this is my big chance to break into show biz!" Squiddly shouted. "Hey, fellas!"

Drake and Duke turned around, saw Squiddly, and nearly jumped five miles.

"Yeow!" they shouted in unison.

"Oops," Squiddly said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Who are you?" Drake asked.

"I'm Squiddly Diddly," Squiddly replied. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation and I want to help you out."

"Not unless you know someone who can play the drums," Drake said.

"And bass, and keyboards," Duke added.

"No problem!" Squiddly shouted. "I'm a squid, after all! I can play all those instruments all at the same time!"

"What do you think?" Drake asked.

"I don't think we have a choice," Duke replied. "Let's go to it."

Drake, Duke, and Squiddly went out on stage. All the girls in the audience started screaming their heads off. The Sand Dunes, with Squiddly on drums, bass, and keyboards, played a couple of songs. Nobody heard a thing. They girls were screaming too loud.

"Boy, this is great!" Squiddly shouted. "I'm finally in show biz!"

Once the concert was over, Drake, Duke, and Squiddly went backstage.

"Wow, that was great!" Duke shouted.

"I guess it pays off to have six arms," Drake replied. "How'd you like to complete the tour with us?"

"Me?" Squiddly asked. "On a Sand Dunes tour? Well sure!"

Drake, Duke, and Squiddly walked out the back door and a bunch of teenage girls started screaming and racing down the street, trying to rip off their clothes.

Within a week, Squiddly became the star of the Sand Dunes act. Drake and Duke didn't mind. It was still their voices on the records that the kids were buying. At any rate, the Sand Dunes were walking down the street and a bunch of teenage girls spotted Squiddly and started screaming.

"Uh oh," Squiddly said once he saw them. "I'd better scram!"

Squiddly took off with the girls hot on his heels. As he was running, more girls began chasing him, screaming their heads off.

"It's nice to be wanted," Squiddly said. "But this is ridiculous!"

The girls continued to chase the terrified squid down the street. Squiddly opened a door and ran through it. He leaned against the door to block it.

"Whew!" he shouted. "That oughta hold them off!"

Squiddly heard banging on the door just then. He looked out the window and saw the building had been covered with teenage girls, trying to get inside to tear Squiddly apart!

"I didn't think being a singer could be this dangerous!" he shouted. "Oh boy, what I wouldn't give for good old Bubbleland!"

The girls continued screaming and trying to get inside the building.

"Squiddly! Squiddly! Squiddly!" they cried.

"Where's Chief Winchley when I need him?!" Squiddly shouted.

The girls continued to scream Squiddly's name, trying to get inside. Squiddly was panicking. He didn't know how long he could hold the girls off.

"CHIIIIEEEEF!" he screamed.

"Squiddly! Squiddly!" the girls called out, only they were starting to sound like Chief Winchley.

"Squiddly!" he shouted. "Squiddly, wake up!"

"Who, what, when where, why, how, huh?!" Squiddly shouted, coming to attention. He realized that he was in his tank at Bubbleland.

"Oh," he said, calming down a little. "It was only a dream. Thank goodness."

"I'm glad you're awake, Squiddly," Chief Winchley said. "We have some special guests here. The lead singer and lead guitarist of the Sand Dunes."

Standing right there behind the chief were Drake Millard and Duke Lange. Squiddly jumped out of his tank and ran for the hills.

"Oh no!" he shouted. "Let me out of here!"

"Huh," Drake said. "I wonder what's the matter with him."

"He acts like he never saw a rock and roll singer before," Duke replied.

The End


End file.
